


Poison, or Princess Leia and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Strategy Meeting

by AliciaSinCiudad



Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: (there is one who is kind of mean), (well most of them), Also: so much swearing, CW: Body Shaming, CW: Unhealthy attitude towards food, Gen, I actually love my coworkers, I do not hold this against them because we all lose in the Patriarchy, Written after an infuriating and highly non-productive meeting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 13:19:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15025454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliciaSinCiudad/pseuds/AliciaSinCiudad
Summary: Leia Organa thought they were supposed to be having a strategy meeting. But apparently, her colleagues just want to hash out their unhealthy attitudes about food.Rage-written after an infuriating and highly non-productive all-day meeting.(Also - this is complete nonsense and almost certainly OOC, but it was very cathartic to write.)





	Poison, or Princess Leia and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Strategy Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> As mentioned in the tags, I really do love my coworkers. They are great friends, and they are great co-workers. Our other meetings have not been like this at all. But we had an all-day meeting that was so infuriating, that my only coping mechanisms were to a) angry-sad-shame-eat too much junk food and b) rage-write some fanfic.

If Princess Leia heard the word “poison” one more time, she was going to fucking scream.

“I don’t eat that,” Lieutenant Brace was saying, “I just can’t. I know if I start eating wander-berries, I won’t be able to stop. So much sugar. And as you know, sugar is absolute –”

Leia took a deep breath. Blew it out slowly. Shoved another handful of wander-berries in her mouth. Fuck Lieutenant Brace. Wander-berries were fucking delicious.

“I used to eat so much sugar,” Sergeant Frondle admitted. _Admitted._ Leia gulped down some more may-apple juice. “I was 300 pounds. Can you believe it? Literally 300 pounds. Literally.”

Leia did not give a shit that Sergeant Frondle had been 300 pounds. What did that have to do with the Sergeant’s relative ability to… er… sarge? Serge? To do whatever it was sergeants did when they weren’t body-shaming themselves and others.

Weren’t they supposed to be planning their latest offensive against The Empire’s colonies in the Outer Rim? At least, Leia was pretty sure that’s what they were supposed to be doing. After Major Mortencia had brought out the mocklate cookies, proffering them to all while bemoaning that _she_ could not eat them, as mocklate was her absolute _downfall_ , all pretense of strategic cohesion had fallen away.

“Please, Princess, _you_ take the rest of these,” the Lieutenant said, shoving the bowl of wander-berries at Leia. Leia did not care about the smug smirk on their face. Leia did not care about the triple judgmental looks she got as she took the offered bowl. Let them feel superior. She was pretty sure she could diplomatize circles around the lot of them.

Luke Skywalker just rolled his eyes and grabbed a berry. While the other three were distracted by their latest dietary diatribe, he slipped a note to his sister. _Wanna grab a drink after the meeting? I’ve got some Corellian Brandy back in my bunk. It is absolute POISON._


End file.
